Daily Musings 3/21

1 – One of my favorite twisted souls in the literary world is Chuck Palahnuik, author of newfound classics Fight Club, Choke, Diary, Haunted and many others. On his home site it was just updated with the plotline for his upcoming book titled, Pygmy:

I’ve just finished the first draft of a novel called “Pygmy,” a dark comedy about terrorism and racism. The lead character is a 13-year-old foreign exchange student sent to live with a suburban, white, middle-class family. Oh, and they’re Christians. The visit is for six months, and he’s one of a dozen similar kids, all shipped to America to live with typical families.

The secret truth is that Pygmy is a terrorist, trained since infancy in martial arts, chemistry and radical hatred of the United States. He has six months to build a prize-winning project for the National Science Fair. If he succeeds, he and his project will go to Washington, D.C. for the finals competition — where the project will explode, killing millions.

So far, Gerry Howard says it’s the best book I’ve done. Fingers crossed for luck.

Yep, I’m prepared once again to be amazed and shocked by the words this man puts down. The wall of genius inside his head fell down long, long ago and now it all just flows out like creepy, creepy water. [via The Cult]

2 – Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford better step aside, because the baddest dude on the block is jumping on the comeback train and it could be the one we were waiting for. Clint Eastwood has announced he is making another Dirty Harry film, currently titled Gran Tornio, referring to the car the villain drives in the film. Unless Charles Bronson comes back from the dead, Eastwood is going to bring the toughest, craziest, meanest SOB back on the screen once again. [via Starpulse]

3 – A new trailer for Get Smart is here. New jokes, new explosions, new reasons to be insanely jealous of anyone who gets to be around Anne Hathaway. [via FilmDrunk]

4 – Oh my God! Oh my God! G.I.Nerd Boner!!!! Let me introduce you all to the awesomeness that is Ray Park as Snake Eyes in the new G.I.Joe flick (there is another pic through here as well) [via ComingSoon]

5 – At what point did the French become the ‘nice people’ in the global community? President Nicholas Sarkozy, while he might be a tad on the weird side in other aspects, has made a huge move by cutting France’s nuclear arsenal to down to 300. I’m hoping he is doing this out of a desire for peace and global disarmament and not because he saw the movie 300 and thinks all his nukes will suddenly become buff, shirtless warriors flying through the skies screaming, “THIS IS LA FRANCE!!!” [via CNN]

6 – There are mysteries in the world we are just not meant to solve, but luckily this is not one of them. Now you can create and enjoy your very own batch of Twinkies in the safety and fluorescent glow of your kitchen. The real kick when we start experimenting with the mystery filling…(get your mind out of the gutter people! I’m talking about filling it with Nerds, or maybe cookie dough. Jeez) [via Uncrate]

7 – People laughed at me when I said I felt watched, but now I know:

[via tcritic and icanhascheezburger]

8 – I can’t explain the genetic code that makes watching things blow up at 5000 frames per second so cool, but why explain it, just sit back, enjoy the opera music and witness the ballet of destruction unfold. [via GorillaMask and Spongefish]

9 – I hate things that come along and make me feel bad for enjoying the things I do. I feel like I might need to take a hot shower before playing Guitar Hero again. [via GorillaMask]

10 – OK, here’s the shameless plug for the week. My friend and I run a t-shirt line called Off the Ledge Tees. It took a long time for the webstore to get up and running smoothly, but now that it is, we are pleased to toss out some discount love to those people in our circles. So, if you go to the store, put in this code: HYSG82AS and you’ll receive the lovely gift of 15% off the order. Isn’t that special? You can also jump to the site through the “T-Shirt of the Week” link on the top right corner of the page. Enjoy!

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Daily Musings 2/28

1 – My dreams are coming true. When I walked out of Step Up 2 The Streets I fell to my knees in the theater lobby and said, “Please, Lord, let there be more. Let this franchise live on!” That prayer went up on the wings of angels and what came back was more than I could have hoped for:

“Disney will proceed with a third installment of its hit dance franchise “Step Up,” tentatively titled “Step Up 3-D.”

Pic will become the latest 3-D live-action film from the Mouse House, with “Step Up 2 the Streets” director Jon Chu in talks to reprise.” [click to Variety for the whole article]

That’s right! 3-D flip outs and headspins happening right in front of you. If they get someone nearly as hot as the last lead girl and put her under a rain machine…check please!

2 – I actually do remember when they tried to launch Slamball as a new sport and I’m gunning for them to make it back on the air. The Spike Network is just ripe for this kinda stuff. You don’t have to watch the entire ad campaign for it, but just wait until you see some of the mid-court body checks and super-spin slam dunks. Tell me this wouldn’t be fun to watch.

[via With Leather]

3 – Here’s more Touhou fun for the masses. This time, Mentos!

4 – There is a much longer clip that has been riding the Internet wave for over a year now entitled “The Evolution of Dance”, but there is one major and important difference with this newer, shorter version…and his name is Optimus Prime. [via College Humor]

5 – The world, and the people in it, may knock you down, but the only person keeping you down is you.

6 – Gerard Butler, the insane leader of the Spartans in 300, is going to be lending his voice to the comic within the comic in the upcoming Watchmen film. Unfortunately this is strictly an exclusive for the DVD release, but the whole comic will be done in anime style and Butler will lend his voice to that of the doomed captain. This sounds extremely cool, but I swear if he yells anything remotely close to “We are PIRATES!” or “We are ANIMATED!” I am going to find Zack Snyder, the director, and wrap him completely in bubble wrap and push him down a long, sloping street, so he’ll make lots of noise on his way down and people will come out of their house and say, “What the hell is that noise? Oh, it’s Zack Snyder, that duchebag who ruined the Watchmen DVD.” [via ComingSoon]

7 – Brian Eno is said to be producing the upcoming Coldplay album. Hmmm… famous U2 producer working with Coldplay. There’s a word for this… Insta-grammy! [via Perez]

8 – Predicted pricing for gas could reach $4 per gallon and when our nation’s commander and leader was asked about what he plans to do about this, his response was “I hadn’t heard that.” I’m positive there is not enough space in this computer for me to list out the things George Bush hasn’t heard, starting somewhere around the creation of the universe and ending near yesterday’s Hot Topic on The View. Can the aliens that dropped him off on this planet please come retrieve him? [via CNN]

9 – Maxim magazine has launched out it’s newest response in the Review-gate scandal. Now it is claiming that the reviews were not reviews at all, they were “previews”. Oh, I see, it all makes sense now. Well here is my preview for all future Maxim articles, “They will suck and be inaccurate and borderline slander.” But hey, I haven’t read their entire future line of issues, so I could be wrong. [via Starpulse]

10 – UPDATE: It looks like Jacko might be able to keep Neverland Ranch after all. There seem to be some bankers out there still crazy enough to lend him money and the proposed auction is being postponed while his financial estate is worked out. I said it before, I’ll say it again, the place is haunted and you’d have to pay me to live there.