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Posts Tagged ‘the onion’

Daily Musings 3/5

Posted by goldwriting on March 5, 2008

1 – The primaries last night were not the slam dunk we were hoping for on the Obama train, but the Clinton marketing engine has failed to derail us in any fashion. Obama is still ahead in the delegate count because in Texas she failed to take it by any size-able amount, meaning the delegates are fairly evenly split. While watching the coverage last night it was mentioned that there was a flowchart sent out very early on in the race between Obama and Hillary that laid out every primary and caucus and which ones they predicted Obama would take. Amazingly this document is being hailed like a Nostradamus doctrine since it’s been nearly on the nose the whole time. It predicted the loss in Ohio, the close shave in Texas and had Obama winning 10 straight in a row up to this point (it failed to believe he would win in Maine, which he did, giving him 11 in a row). So if those palm reading folks continue putting their faith in this chart, Obama will still come out ahead when the votes are all tallied up with crucial wins in the final primaries. I hope they’re right because I am someone that does want to see things change and Hillary is unfortunately showing herself to be more of the same politics we’ve had for the last 24 years.

2 – The Onion, the fake news network, is coming out with their own movie in shiny straight to DVD fashion. Kudos to Steven Seagal for being able to parody himself in what could be his best performance ever. [thanks, FilmDrunk]

3 – There is a video of this floating around, but I refuse to post it here. A US Marine is under verbal fire today, instead of literal fire, for having a fellow soldier videotape him throwing a small living puppy over the side of a cliff. I understand that war can have detrimental effects on people’s mental state and cause them to do things they would normally never do, but most of those instances come in times of intense stress and combat. This was one soldier goofing off with another and tossing a helpless animal over a cliff. Word coming out of the Marine top brass is that they are hugely disappointed and that most Marines conduct themselves with honor and respect. They are pulling together all the pertinent information now to decide what to do with this soldier, but my opinion is solidly that this person be dishonorably discharged from the Marines immediately. We have obviously been in such a rush to fill up the ranks of our Armed Forces that we are letting people in who are not there to defend our honor and our country, but people who just want to play with guns, flex their muscles and expel cruelty where they see fit. Let’s see the Marine Corps try to make a booster commercial out of that story. [via CNN]

4 – Rumors are flying around the net this morning that our favorite bouncer and dirty dancer, Patrick Swayze, is battling a very serious form of Cancer and has mere weeks to live. I desperately hope he is not as bad off as they say. Swayze may not be an Oscar winning talent, but he has helped bring about some of the greatest popcorn flicks in history. Road House not only provides some of the most hilariously violent fight scenes in history, but it also continues to serve as a measuring point for any relationship I might get into. If the girl I am interested in does not like Road House and giggle themselves silly watching it, we’re doomed from the start. But that’s only the beginning for Swayze, he also helped to bring us Ghost, The Outsiders (my personal favorite movie), Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Next of Kin, Point Break, Too Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar and Donnie Darko. Can you imagine a happy and fulfilling life without those movies. I think not. So my thoughts and good vibes are going out to you, Dalton. May you tear Cancer’s throat out.

5 – These people have way too much time on their hands, but also way to much genius to be contained. Please enjoy, Michael Jackson’s Punch Out: [via GorillaMask via The Panda Page]

6 – The one man who did so much to bring fictional and fantastical lives to those who had none in reality has just passed away. Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, died Tuesday at 69 years old after a long battle with a variety of health problems. I was also one of those role playing kids, covering my dining room table with battle charts, dice graphs and miniature pewter figures that I would hand paint and detail myself. Admittedly I branched out from D&D pretty quickly into other system I felt work more expansive, like Marvel and G.U.R.P.S, but somehow I think that admission just made me more of a dork than before. Oh well. Gary helped to ignite the world of role playing and the nerds, geeks, dweebs and closet cool kids of the world owe him a debt of gratitude for that. You rolled a true 100, Gary. Thanks for the memories.  [via CNN]

7 – In my mind Robert Downey Jr. can do no wrong on film (not making any claims about his personal life), but doing a role of a role in blackface? Our boy might be straying from the land of logic just a touch. Luckily, Iron Man will come out before this controversial role and we will all get to experience the full gooey excitement over the comic book extravaganza. [via FilmDrunk]

8 –  The Pearl Jam parody rendition of “Old MacDonald’s Farm” is one of the joys of my life: [via Pandachute]

Kids Rock

9 – The Dragonball Z live action adaptation is being pushed from this year until 4/3/09. Some reports are claiming it is because the release weekend was getting too crowded with other big ticket fare. My thought is they had no real idea how long it was going to take to animate all those crazy diagonal lines every time someone jumped in the air. Also, the budget for blond super spiky hair gel has skyrocketed.  [via ComingSoon]

10 – What’s that you say? You want more Touhou videos!? Well here you go, it’s Hot Pockets time:

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